Movie Rant- January 2016

Movie Rant

Going to have some fun and rant about all the movies this year. To say all I wanted to say and leave it at that. The majority of which I’ve seen. A couple I couldn’t watch, but I looked into them with great detail.

Keep in mind.    I’m really only voice in a room with a million of others.  The key isn’t to be right or wrong about a film, but rather to have some reason to back up your stance.  For me, I welcome opposing sides and I’ll even share some below.

However, do I have credibility?  I’ve watched thousands of films from the origins of the craft right up to this year’s biggest blockbusters (and some awesome indie-films as well).  I’ve broken down films scene by scene and analyzed and discussed why I love or hate them. I also try to be fair, very rarely do I loathe a film completely (especially beyond February.)  I believe I am credible, but many others are as well. You simply need to find someone who fits your taste in movies. Listen to them or discuss with them why you like the movie or didn’t.  Just bring your reasons backed with intellect, not just emotion.

Enough of that- let’s rant!

Movie Rant

Going to have some fun and rant about all the movies this year. To say all I wanted to say and leave it at that. The majority of which I’ve seen. A couple I couldn’t watch, but I looked into them with great detail.

January Movies- Why does January have to suck for films? I get that is the furthest from Oscar contention. I also understand that people don’t go to the movies as much in the winter. (Despite the fact that it is cold in most places and I wouldn’t mind spending my time in a heater watching a decent movie.) It seems like a waste of a whole month to release almost nothing of value. (Though I must say there were a couple movies in January 2016 that weren’t complete garbage.) If you have a good movie which is properly advertised, people will come to see it at any time of year. (Look at Deadpool, February release, but with brilliant advertising and quality content. Made a small fortune!)

The Forest- Fitting to be the the first major release of the year. Another lousy horror film. The horror genre is down to but a trickle as far as quality is concerned. Few genre’s are more tired, using the same old stories over and over in infinite loop.

Something Positive- This film has an interesting location. Aokigahara forest is one of the scariest places in the world. Some of the cinematography in this movie isn’t terrible. Give them props for that. Also, some of the scenes are cool, but the scares are just not enough. Too little for too long.

Final Call- Trash- If you need a movie for a bad horror movie night with friends. It’s a contender.

Am I alone in thinking this movie has few positives? See what JumpcutUK thinks. Hit the link below.

The Masked Saint– A fun idea. A pastor living a double life as a violent vigilante. It has some Christian themes (which is totally fine). However, the idea of the good guy with a double life/ secret identity as a kickass vigilante has been DONE TO DEATH!

Something Positive- This movie has some positive values that could aid people in day to day life.

Why it Sucks- Too much to name. The bottom line is poor writing, cinematography, directing. Combined with the fact that they are about 10 films with the same idea, but done better made every single year.

Final Call- Trash – Watch The Equalizer, John Wick, Daredevil series and (name a 100 more) instead

Here- have a review of a better movie from my friends at Jumpcutuk-


13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi – Ah, Michael Bay, we meet again. I don’t like Mr. Bay as a film director. He uses too many explosions, riddled with scatological jokes, rampant racism and sexism, poor character development, and even worse plots. People who follow his style I say follow “The Way of Bay” much to my dismay. Here is Bay’s attempt to make a competent film which has at least some basis in reality. John Krasinki does a decent acting job within this film. That all too familiar Way of Bay style I deplore is restrained considerably. Here Bay actually tries to make a decent films and it shows because this is among the best of the month. (Of course that month is January, so take it as it is.)

Does this movie suck? I’m surprised to say this, but Michael Bay made a movie that did not suck. He attempted to try a new angle, tone downed his tired style and actually direct.

Final Call- Stream it if you have nothing better to do. Bay may not be my favorite director by any means, but he is more talented than many. (Something painfully clear after any January in film.)

JumpcutUK seems to back me up- Check it out-

Ride Along 2– I come to realize that I don’t like most Kevin Hart movies. (His comedy shows are still quite funny.) I didn’t enjoy Ride Along in 2014 that much aside a few jokes and even more so I didn’t enjoy this sequel. Ride Along 2 is more of the same with next to no character development. The budget, the explosions, all that is bigger (except for the laughs).

Fact Is- Let’s be clear, you are watching this film because you love (I mean LOVE!) Kevin Hart’s high intensity comedy. If you don’t like his style, don’t even bother.

Final Call- Ride Along 2 isn’t quite fit for the trash heap. I say you can watch it (for cheap or free) and let it get recycled into your memory bank. Maybe you chuckle a couple of times.

Norm of the North– I enjoy animated films more than most, but this one is a blight against the very landscape of film making. In just about every way, this is flaming pile of garbage. Not fit for anyone above the cognitive ability of a 2 year old.

There are no positives for this one. It is the worst film of the entire month of January. One of the worst animated films made in a very long time, maybe the worst ever. (It’s at least in the conversation.). They even talked about direct to DVD sequels. I weep for the children and the adults who ventured a try at this film. It is a monstrosity.

The 5th Wave – With the rise of The Hunger Games, the Divergent Series, and The Maze Runner. It is no wonder that studios are looking to cash in on the young adult franchise which is trending. However, this film is a mess. It has a horrible love story that is so poorly written it makes Twilight by Stephanie Meyer look like War and Peace.

Positive note- The idea of an alien invasion that comes in waves is creepy and kinda cool. It had the potential to be cool, but the restrictions of the young adult genre cursed it to failure.

Final Call- Trash this movie!

Need another opinion?

JumpcutUK has you covered.

The Boy– Ever needed a reason to rip on a PG-13 horror movie? Did you not get enough creepy doll horror action with Annabelle? Then how about this version.

Something Positive- There are some creepy elements throughout. I really had no interest in this one. Could of been worse, but that doesn’t mean it was good.

Final Call- Don’t waste valuable time watching this one. Not worth it- Trash!

War of the Movies- they reviewed this one and I always respect things when they post them. Have a look for a second opinion.

Dirty Grandpa – What happened to Robert DeNiro? Don’t get me wrong, he can great. When he is on point in a role, there is no equal. However, he takes on quite a few roles that are ghastly. This film makes me wonder why such a great actor can also be in so many duds. This movie is juvenile, poorly written, and despite a few exceptions, not very funny.

Positive- Zac Efron continues to have a good ability to work in comedy. This is by far not his best film, but there are moments of enjoyment.

Final Call- Watch this film if you are not of a clear head or have absolutely nothing else to do in life.

War on Movies had a different take on it. Here is there response to it.

Fifty Shades of Black- This is a stupid comedy that is mocking Fifty Shades of Grey. The original content is terrible, and this does not improve upon it. Are there some cheap laughs? Of course, but not enough to make this movie worth watching. (Your time is more valuable than this.)

Final Call- Trash this film!

The Finest Hours- Here is another decent January 2016 film. The story of a rescue and the insurmountable odds the coast guard faces. This movie has a good cast, but not enough story really to make a movie. Would be a good documentary (60 minutes long). Certainly not terrible (unless you are a Disney shareholder- this movie tanked!)

Final Call- Rent it if you like the history of the coast guard. It’s well made, but not very interesting.

Jane Got a Gun-Do you want a film that has a decent cast, but it otherwise boring and overall misleading as hell? Then check out Jane Got a Gun (Spoilers- She actually kind of doesn’t.)

This movie also has a cast worthy of noting (I won’t note them because I don’t care enough to.), but it just isn’t very compelling. Also, the title is kind of deceiving.



Kung Fu Panda 3– I like the Kung Fu Panda franchise. The films are pretty light, but they have good action and are humorous. They do push some more cliché ideas across in this one, but I still enjoyed it. A harmless film that can be enjoyed by young and old.

Final Call- If you love this franchise- I think this one is worth buying. Otherwise, watch and enjoy it once and let that be done with it.

Going to post my review for you to check out-




Andrew’ Recap

Movies worth buying/ watching more than once.

Kung Fu Panda 3

Movies Worth renting/ watching once

The Finest Hours

13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Movies that are tolerable if you like the actor/franchise

Ride Along 2

Movies that should only be watched drunk/altered state (not recommended in general mind you)

Dirty Grandpa

The Forest

Fifty Shades of Black

Movies You can Simply Forget

The 5th Wave

The Boy

Jane Got a Gun-

Movies that You Should Never Watch and Hope to Never Encounter

Norm of the North





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