The Breakdown: What to Watch, What to Run From
January 2016 will continue it’s dreadful attack on us this weekend.
Before I get into this week’s new releases movies. Let’s see how close I was about last week.
13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi – Turns out Michael Bay actually tried to make a a credible movie that didn’t suck. There is some Bay things to dislike in this one of course, but he tries to do this very serious topic some justice. I said that Bay has been insensitive in previous real-life interpretations. This time, he held back and actually attempted something credible and succeeded. So I say with an IMDb rating of 7.5 of 4,560 ratings. If you enjoy a good action, thriller based on real events. This could be a good one for you.
Ride Along 2 wasn’t that great (I so called it), but it did win in the box office. If you really liked the original, you probably won’t hate this one. Just don’t try to call it a good movie.
The Forest- a horror movie that tries to be smarter than it is. It’s not great, but there will be worse films out there this year.
Norm of the North- You could see this disaster coming a mile away. It looked offensive (the quality of the film is so low that it actually offends). Turns out that was exactly the abomination it seemed to be. With a rating of 2.2 on IMDb, it may easily be the worst film of the entire year. If you make a film worse than this one, the movie business is no place for you. This is a new low for modern animation, it may be the worst animated movie of all time
The Benefactor – It’s generic, bland, and in almost every way not worth your time. Could be worse, but certainly not worth your money.
My score vs reality.
I was right about Ride Along 2, Norm of the North, The Forest, The Benefactor
I was Wrong about 13 Hours
4-1 in my favor.
New Releases 1/22/2016
Starring: Robert De Niro, Zac Efron
IMDb: 6.2 of 633 ratings
Zac Efron and Robert De Niro go on spring break together! Wooooo! Seriously, both of these actors are very talented and have the ability to do so much better than this film. I sure hope they were paid a good amount (though some of that money should go to some charities because if you ugly up the world with this film atrocity, you damn well better be doing something beneficial to society with SOME of that money.)
This movie seems to have cheap raunchy laughs. If that is what you enjoy, then by all means enjoy. (I know a few people eager to see Efron mostly undressed…enjoy your eye candy.) The movie isn’t the worst Comedy to come out. It has some chuckle worthy moments, but on a whole there is very little substance. If you need something to pass a couple of hours and can find it for cheap. (Hey, it’s your money. Spend as you wish to)
My Call- Pass- wait for this on Netflix/Hulu etc.
The 5th Wave
IMDb rating: 5.6 of 3,406
I get that the young adult sci-fi-drama is the new “it” thing, but there really aren’t that many good ones. (Hint- It’s totally okay to have a prophecy not be led by a Jesus-like teen. They and only they can save us from ourselves/the great evil.) Teens are certainly capable of awesome things, but it’s okay if someone else tries to save the world. (Tom Cruise, you’re up.)
My call- Pass on this. Pass all the way. A shame because some of the ideas in this film seem neat. Shove in maybe the worst romance ever. Worse than Twilight or Fifty Shades of Crap.(I meant Grey…..but you can see how one could get confused .)
IMDb: 7.4 of 308 ratings
I laugh, you laugh, we all laugh at the concept. It’s a PG-13 horror film filled with cheap scares and boring characters. The doll has more acting chops than some of the actors in this film. Sure it can be creepy, but I highly doubt it will be good. If you need a semi creepy movie to see, maybe check out The Forest instead.
My Call- Avoid giving money to this silly Chucky wannabe knockoff. If you are going to do a horror film, at least make it a soft R. (Though I suppose ghost stories would be my exception)
Genre: Mystery, Sci-Fi, Thriller
IMDb rating: 6.6 of 94 ratings
IMDb synopsis- “A physicist who invents a time machine must travel back to the past to uncover the truth about his creation and the woman who is trying to steal it.” Time travel movies can always be fun, but they often get twisty and fall apart. They are very difficult to pull off well. I’m not sure that this movie nails it, but I will say it is likely better than most other things coming out in January 2016.
My Call- Pass- Wait for Netflix/Hulu/ ETC.
IMDb: 5.5 of 538
I don’t really know where this Garrett Hedlund person came from, but I think he needs to stop being in movies now or take some lessons from Matthew McConaughey (Read a script, Garrett). He’s been in some really lousy movies. Really needs to make better life decisions. (Here’s hoping his next movie- Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk (2016) doesn’t suck as well. Yeah, I’m not even going to discuss the plot of the film because I don’t think it’s worth the time. Moving on.
Starring: Keanu Reeves
IMDb: 6.3 of 146 ratings
Hey, Keanu Reeves, John Wick (2014) was an awesome movie. You showed us all that you can be awesome again, but then you go back to stuff like this. Know your talent Reeves!
Pick of the Week
Ip Man 3 (2015)
Genre: Action, Biography, Drama
IMDb rating: 8.0 of 2,505
If you haven’t watched Ip Man, then I suggest you find it and watch it. Then watch Ip Man 2 and finally go and see this film. I don’t often talk about foreign films, but if they are a well made, I will suggest them to you. Compared to the rest of the movies coming out. If you need to watch a film this week, make it this one.