Kingsman: The Secret Service Movie Review (Good, Bad, and Ugly)

The Kingsman: Secret Service (2014)  A movie not fit enough for a pauper.

Just in from watching Kingsman:The Secret Service (2014) and while the movie was alright, in all I was disappointed.  First off calling it an Action/Adventure/Comedy is a misnomer because it wasn’t funny. It was laugh-less, in fact.

This movie was way too long and not nearly enough fun.  I wanted Zombieland (2008) meets James Bond, but instead I got Zombieland meets The English Patient (1996).

What I didn’t like.

The movie wasn’t all that fun. Minus one of the most memorable uses of Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynard I’ve ever seen. The movie had its moments where the action was enjoyable and the over-the-top action violence worked.  However, the bulk of it was unpleasant and boring.

The movie could have used some humor. It was so ridiculous at times that comedy could have made it better. They attempted comedy, but weren’t funny. That’s the worst of it.  They tried and still failed.

The length of this movie was nearly insufferable. The pacing was horrid and it dragged on a good 45 minutes beyond its own good. By the end, I just wanted this movie to end and let me leave. The moments the credits rolled I got up and fled the theater (and not because I needed to use a restroom). Again, it was barely entertaining enough to make me stay.  I’m accustomed to movies having ups and downs and being long, but the key is the ups have to satisfy me enough to deal with the downs. In this movie, they didn’t and I felt it.

The violence was over-the-top and overall didn’t bother me, but they used it too much.  By the end of the movie I was just unfazed by it. It was boring and repetitive.

It also promotes unsafe anal sex and I don’t approve of that. HIV is a serious thing and knowledge and prevention should be valued, not sidelined for “humor” if you could call it that.

In fact- here are some links to ensure you get tested and treatment if needed.

https://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/

https://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/prevention/hiv-testing/hiv-test-locations/

The movie was meant to be a crazy spy film that was over the top with Bondesque like villains and henchmen(henchwoman). I suppose that worked, but I’d much rather have watched an old Bond film instead.

I’d tear into the plot of the movie being convoluted and stupid and some other little things here and there, but it was meant to be that way. So, it was a success in that manner.

What I liked about the film.

The acting was pretty solid in this film. Michael Caine and Colin Firth did wonderfully.  Mark Strong was solid (Thought he was Stanley Tucci at first.) and Taron Egerton as Gary Eggsy Unwin did a fine job.  The action was pleasant overall. Samuel L. Jackson’s character was interesting, but the movie got so long I grew tired of his act.  Jackson did a nice job as the villain though and I liked how he clearly explained his warped philosophy.

The last twenty minutes of the film were pretty cool minus a couple failed attempts at humor using sex and violence as its means. The last twenty minutes didn’t make up for the waiting and laugh-less 14 hours I endured beforehand (bit of an exaggeration on the movie length there.)

Overall, I was unimpressed by Kingsman: The Secret Service. It provided little to nothing above the standard spy film. The humor when attempted was sub-par, the action worked, but grew tiresome too soon. The characters were interesting and the movie certainly had a few fun moments, but not enough for me to recommend this film.

In conclusion. I say wait for Kingsman: The Secret Service.  Wait for it on television or as a rental somewhere. Save your money for a better movie.

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